IMHO: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, or Never Eat a Pizza an Hour Before a Show!

I know there's some people that will say "what's this got to do with the South Florida Theatre Scene?"


But I felt I had to share something 'cuz this might happen to you.


Call me Joe the Theatregoer: Recently, I attended a local production at a place where parking is such an inconvenience. Truly! Most of the lots around the theatre will charge a rate between $4 or $5. There was metered parking and the hours end at 7pm, but there is a strict parking limit.


But since I had no cash on me, I risked my car getting towed and parked at the meter.


So by the time I got to the theatre, it was 45 minutes before showtime. I decided to stop at the local pizza joint to chomp down on some good pepperoni. Kind of greasy, but nonetheless.


Everything's fine up to this point until I get to my seat before showtime. The stage manager makes the opening announcements, then I feel thunder and lightning in my belly.

I'm in the middle of a row, so while they're talking, I make a break to the restroom. By the time the applause dies down, I'm back in a seat to the rear on an aisle, just in case the storm rages again.

Sure enough 20 minutes into the piece, the thunder starts and the waves start rising again. Luckily enough, I'm on the aisle and I'm on my way back to the restroom.


The moment that comes up has to be the most embarrassing and may land me on the next item of the Blind Spot:

The theatre has spots where actors can and have to run down the aisle of the house to get to the stage. Since I'm in the back, I got up to go to the back of the house and what do I do? Run smack dab into an actor. I ruined the illusion: arrgh, blasphemy!

When I come out of the restroom after the storm passes, I stay in the lobby because 1) I don't want to bother the rest of the audience and 2) the first act was almost over. I missed this actor's entire scene, because of nature's call. And as I go back to finish watching the show, my mind is not on the show, it is a) If my car gets towed, how am I getting back home? and b) the storm might rage again.

I have to chalk it up to just a negative theatrical experience. And it wasn't the production's fault, I should have eaten sooner. Way sooner.

So the moral of the story kids? Eat healthy. Do get your square meals at the right time, and hopefully you won't be Joe the theatregoer enjoying the show in the lavatory.

And I'd like to extend an apology to my fellow actor that I missed due to nature picking up the phone to call me at the wrong time.

Now that air is clear, let me say this:

This will be my last contribution to the South Florida Theatre Scene. I thought I could drop my anecdotes from time to time, but it seems that I have diverted into another direction once again: The best laid plans, you know.

Still will be Joe the Theatregoer, but as some of you may know, my ambition is to be Joe the Producer. I am looking forward to future collaborations with people that I've highlighted in the past, and I hope that you will join me on this journey.

For now, please look to my blog, The Wonderful World of Conundrum Stages for updates on Joe the Producer's progress to be a top arts promoter in South Florida (Yes, I know I haven't updated it in a while, but things are coming along. I will let you know when the time is right).